In Sunday School this past sunday, the teacher described our faith as being like a can of paint. He challenged the class asking, "What is keeping us from taking the lid off of our paint cans and painting a beautiful picture around us?" Some responded with 'apathy' or 'laziness' and 'business.' None of those seemed like an excuse I could make and so I raised my timid little hand and offered that in college it's not easy to get out your paint can because my paint might be the wrong color and offend someone else. For me, I'm afraid that people don't want to see my paint and I don't want to stir up trouble by painting the wrong thing or with the wrong color. I told them it was easy for me to 'paint' around my apartment or the ministry I attend and around my other believing friends, but more often than not, my tendency in my classes around classmates and professors, I keep the lid on my can of faith and attempt to shine through my personality and words of encouragement.
The Sunday school teacher offered back his encouragement and challenged me to try to take the lid off my paint can at the next opportunity. Little did I know that opportunity would come so soon..
In the 5 minutes before my Intro to Social Work class started, I sat next to my classmate listening to him tell me how he had come to want to be a social worker. He shared of finding good ideas in Buddhist ideology and then how he had come through a dark time in my life. All the while I was thinking, "Man, it'd be so cool if this kid knew Jesus." When he finished sharing all that, he turned to me and asked, "So what's your story?"
I was a little caught off guard by that, my usual strategy is to keep asking questions and keep the other person talking so I don't have to contribute much on myself, lest my Christianity come out and scare off my classmates. I hesitated as I started to share,
"uhmm.. I was home schooled.."
"You already told me that."
"Oh right. Uhm, well, I started out as a teacher and then I worked at a camp for a summer and realized I couldn't be an authoritative person all the time and I heard 'social work' while riding a bus and decided that's what I wanted to be."
"That's it?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was trying to keep the lid on my paint can and that I couldn't really share my story without talking about Jesus and really what I was doing was stalling for time so that class would start. It seemed the lid on my paint can was a little bit stuck as it hadn't been opened for a while...
"Oh! Well, I guess a big part of my story would be when I was in highschool, like freshman/sophomore year I was at a really dark place in my life and without hope and then a friend of mine invited me to go volunteer at a homeless shelter in Omaha and I found a lot of joy in serving people and it really brought hope into my life again."
I winced as realized I was still editing out the most important, significant parts of my story and the clock was ticking and my time was running out. But he'd already told me he was into Buddhism so whyyyy would he even want to know about Christianity?
"Oh yeah, there's a real satisfaction in serving others. So just serving brought you out of that dark time?"
"No.. My religion played a huge part in that too.. just finding a relationship with God was so satisfying and such a joyful thing that now I just want to serve others and pour out His love on people"
I think I might have been holding my breath as I waited for his response.. waiting for the conversation to get awkward, waiting for the eye contact to drop away, waiting for the quick change in subject...
"oh yeah! I believe faith is so important for anything anyone does! I'm glad you have that."
And with that the professor started speaking. To be honest, I think I'm still trying to process the whole conversation. My classmate's last line before class started still blows my mind and I feel ashamed that I hadn't taken the opportunity sooner. I don't think there is any way to predict how someone will react. It's funny how quick Jesus is to act on our requests. Last week I was praying for Jesus to make me a more beautiful person on the inside. I have never had acne before and my complexion is usually pretty clear, not perfect, but okay. Last week I had thee worst blemishes and breakouts all over my face. Jesus likes to test if we're legit when we're asking for stuff. When I asked Jesus to help me paint in my classrooms, I didn't expect he'd start prying the lid off my can within the first 2 days back on campus.
And I know the tests will keep coming. They will come as long as I pursue Jesus. But the best part is, in spite of these crazy things that seem out of the ordinary for me.. and a little out of my comfort zone, I have joy. I am happy. I feel alive. I'm excited to keep pursuing this adventure with Jesus. :D
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