I'm honestly shocked that it's December already. November went by the quickest. Since finishing my driving for Dad, it's as if time was sucked out of the window. Some friends visited me the weekend directly following my wrap up and it was SUCH a delightful time.
I've been spending time filling in as the secretary in Dad's office since I've finished driving and I honestly love it! Answering the phones, directing people who come in with questions. Completing small office'y tasks. It's wonderful.
I did get sick, though. Really really sick. I don't remember ever being so sick. A rough bout of influenza had me running a temp of 102 -103F five days in a row, as well as a nasty cough that made my diaphragm so sore I thought I'd never take a full breath in my life again. That and my lungs seemed to stop working when ever I laid down to sleep.. so I stopped laying down to sleep and spent many nights sitting up wondering when dawn would get there. Turns out I basically had pneumonia. Which would explain why I was coughing up blood with everything else.. I thought I'd just managed to rip a lung from coughing so much. It was really rather awful, altogether.
But! I survived. With strong medicines and much bed rest, I am now breathing, sleeping, and life'ing again. And to my delight, my cousin, Cara came up from Florida and I my precious breaths of air were spent laughing every day. The week of Thanksgiving was GLORIOUS. As slowly and surely, everyone came home. All ten siblings reunited and friends came out of the woodwork as well.
It was absolutely beautiful to have be greeted by health and good times all at once. My love tank was filled up as we cuddled and life'd and laughed and interacted. To finish off such a glorious week, I was absolutely blessed to returned to the land of Kalona for one of those precious hymn sings. A sweet morsel of heaven that I have missed ever so much.
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Beyond the little its and bits of my life, The Lord is doing great and wonderful things in my heart. I hate to admit of how slow I am at adapting to change and how much muscles it takes from our Heavenly Father to work and shape my heart, but it's true. My heart, though soft and sensitive, its not so easily squished into a whole new mold in one easy peasy trial. Which, I hope is good, because I don't intend to be easily influenced by the world. But the Lord has been chipping away at the hardened edges of my heart, and though painful at times, I am very incredibly blessed and thankful for all that He does.
I've learned that, as much as I love humans, and as much as the Lord made my heart to feel loved in the presence of humans, my heart still beats and functions just fine without them. The Lord, alone, loves me to the bottom of my heart. And that makes me so very happy.
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I have had a lot of things on my heart lately. A lot of thoughts being processed in the deepest places of my heart. But they are not ripe now... or maybe the are. I have come to realize, that while I don't mind being transparent and honest and very open with my heart and my thoughts, I am very sensitive to how people perceive me as a result. I, for the most part, try very hard to remember my identity in Christ and not consider the discouraging words of humans to have any sway or influence on my heart. But it's something I'm still growing in and figuring out. (sorry to end my sentence with a preposition there..)
I will have some deep worth-the-time-it-takes-to-read (hopefully) thoughts for you soon. But in the meanwhile, you can rest assured that this blog has not died yet. :)
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