I am not married, of course, but as a young Christian woman, I have been well exposed to the "Proverbs 31 Woman"... or the "Pinterest 31 Woman" as some ladies would call her now.
Kind meaning people tell us young women that this wife of noble character is our heroine after whom we should model our godly young lives. "Don't waste your single-ness waiting for a man, you can do all these things before you even get married."
I try, of course. As much as one can. And I have learned me something or two about this amazing woman who has achieved such high status among the city gates.
While scrubbing away at a cookie sheet with burnt caramelize apple crisp residue baked deep into the scratches, and feeling the SOS pad fibers making their way into the cracks in my hands, I thought about the complete lack of glamor such a woman of great character would have. Seeing that I have yet to make it into the first line of such an ode for woman so great and worthy of praise, I understand that any comments I might have about the woman are probably invalid since my humble life callings for the present time do not include the titles of "Wife" or "mother". BUT! I have a feeling that if *I* were ever to attain such titles, I could probably fill you all in on the between-the-lines happenings of our heroic model.
[a]A wife of noble character who can find? ( Why doesn't everybody stop here and realize that the wisest man on earth in history ever is asking this question!? That should say a lot about how basically impossible this woman's existence is anyhow..)
She is worth far more than rubies. ( And she can die happy because she is "Worth it" which is REALLY what every woman wants)
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. (This part I'll ignore for now since I don't have room to comment)
13 She selects wool (sweaters) and flax (Good for the digestive health, she's heard)
and works with eager hands
that are callused and blistered from all her endeavors.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar
Because goodness knows you gotta travel across town for the organic stuff.
15 She gets up while it is still night because little children are screaming from nightmares and ear infections;
she provides food for her family that she may or may not have burnt while trying to multitask scrubbing the kitchen floor.
and portions for her female servants who are also the oldest of her children.
16 She considers a field and buys it ; cuz it was on sale, marked down 35%
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
But who knows if she has a green thumb or not, probably she forgets about it and it grows lots of weeds.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; Because channeling anger toward dishes is sometimes the best option.
her arms are strong for her tasks because hoisting children + groceries + the barney bag purse with everything you need = muscles.
Her hair is all out of place and falling in front of her face
Her shirts stained with wash water and whatever was left on her child's face.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable especially since its impossible to be skilled in EVERY area and if someone else has skills..Praise the Lord.
and her lamp does not go out at night
because she was so tired she fell asleep before she turnt off the light.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers that she has
already poked a billion times.
20
Her stitches aren't perfect and her projects not always complete..
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy. Knowing she is in need of major help and they can cut some sort of deal.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; Only fear for the floors she just scrubbed on her hands and knees. For she is wise and knows that snow = mud.
for all of them are clothed in scarlet found at Goodwill for $2.50 (It was the only color available).
22 She makes coverings for her bed; Not perfectly, of course. But good enough.
she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Because she found it at a garage sale for 75 cents
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, .
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them at the local farmers market or on Etsy,
and supplies the merchants with sashes in all cute colors and patterns.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity and sass and a little bit of "Suck-it-up";
she can laugh at the days to come because the Bible told her not to worry over them and that's the only other option.
26 She speaks with wisdom ,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Along with other words that she holds back and dare not utter out loud in front of the children.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household like a hawk because she knows if she turns her back for one stinkin' second, some little kid is gonna plug the upstairs sink before flooding the house.
and does not eat the bread of idleness. Because she's only gonna eat the gluten free whole grain high vitamin kind.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed just before asking what there is to eat and if they can have a cookie, for her children know that flattery is magic;
her husband also, and he praises her because if he doesn't, and she works hard, he can sleep on the couch otherwise:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.” <--wise words to say to women when they are worn out.
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; Especially because of all the work around the house to worry about.. Lord knows that outword beauty is lost on clean windows and happy, not hungry children.
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Let's appreciate THIS phrase... wouldn't it be nice if the world counted fearing the Lord as all the worth you needed??
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done or have attempted to have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate cuz she's a woman and she needs to be affirmed .
Aw Fern! That was awesome! Gave me the giggles and made me think too! :-)
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