Life in the apt.

So! I have energy and time, time and energy.. so I decided to blog again. :D


The most exciting news of my life the last few days is that I've been rather ill. Well.. really horribly sick to be honest. Probs one of the worst sicknesses I've gotten since the food poisoning that landed me in the hospital the summer before my Jr. year of High school. It was so very miserable. There was not much sleeping involved in my being sick, except for afternoon naps after sleepless nights, and a very terrible large amount of head pressure and upset stomachness and sore throat business. Oh! And a fever. Lots of the fever stuff actually. And that was my life. But I still managed to make it to all my classes (perhaps I've gotten all my classmates sick) and am not too terribly behind on readings. 


So.. not all the way better yet, but PTL I'm getting close. Phew. 
Anyways.. I live in an apt. now. :) It beats the dorms by a long shot. 


A quick tour.. 

The kitchen! Cute and Concise. :)

Our dining table (next to the kitchen)

Our very sad looking living room.. 

The hallway to mine and Amanda's bedrooms.
(mines on the left :])
ALSO! the bathroom and a closet are in that hall way too..

Yay my room!

  :) So.. all these lovely pictures are taken at such an artistic angle because I accidently left my camera at home in Storm Lake and thus used my mac book to take pictures which is a little bit awkward to angle and such.






Our dining area is rather small.. as you can see the size of a card table ish.. but! There are only three of us living in the apt so it's perfect! :)






And the living room
<----- so very sad looking. The futon is not yet put together because apparently the bolts and screws or whatever you call them are misplaced (not by me) and thus we sit on the floor... :( 
We will fix this problem soon I hope.


And decorate! We def could use some color. 




Oh! And you can't see it but there's a door to a bedroom in the living room as well. My other apt. buddy lives in there.
----> The little hallway :)


On the left ( the bright room!) is mine! Also.. the other door on the left is a closet.. 
And then Amanda's room and the bathroom is also to the right.. but you cant see it. 


Woohoo! This is where I spent the majority of my miserable existence. (being sick)


It is also very plain like the rest of our apt,


 but perhaps I will one day feel artistic and change that. It's very nice to not have a roommate tho. I like it very much.  

That's basically it.  :)

My study area 

Randomnesses

So,  it's the first week of class and I find myself sitting outside of Burge market place waiting for my friends to show up so we can eat lunch together. I don't feel particular inspired for a blog or anything, but as it turns out I still have 20 minutes of waiting to do and I drank coffee for the first time since Sunday morning and I'm shaaaaking like crazy and I'm just so jittery that I decided typing would be a good way of channeling this energy since the people around me were getting sick of my repeatedly tapping my phone against the table really fast and drumming on every such object I could find. 


Phew... so I guess I could talk about my life. It's been crazy lately. I changed my major the second day of classes and found myself on a long and glorious scavenger hunt collecting signatures of professors on my drop and add slips for classes. There was one such professor who was disappointed when he signed my drop slip and told me I was a good student when I left. I was terribly sad I had to drop his class also since he is my favorite professor and I had to drop on account of a pre-req that I didn't have.  Apparently, after I left that class he told the class that a class that i *had* taken of his counted as a pre-req. So.. the next day i was back to scavenger hunting for signatures and met with him in his office. He told me he wanted me back in his class and made me feel good about myself for 20 minutes before signing my add slip. How lovely. I look forward to his class. It's called HEL. And so he shook my hand and said "Welcome back to HEL.. glad to have you back." How nice of him. It made me smile. I've never been so excited to be going to HEL. 


Ah... still jittery. I would not suggest chugging coffee in the morning if its something that you haven't done in a while. Blah. It makes me feel rather uncomfortable. I feel like I could run 10 miles and still have energy. Granted I know I couldn't run 10 miles on account of me not being a fan of distance running. But if Kit were to challenge me in a sprint race to the mailbox today.. I'm sure I would win. That couldn't happen tho.. cuz he's in Storm Lake and I am in Iowa City and I suppose he would win on account of him being closer to our mailbox than me. Stink. 


Ooh! I'm going to a Phil Wickham concert tonight! I'm very excited. I like Phil Wickham. I've sseen him 2 or 3 times before.. but worshipping Jesus never never never gets old. I like Jesus. He's so wonderful. 


:(.. the lunch line is getting long.. I suppose that's to be expected since it's lunch time..siigh. 


Oh! I didn't say what I changed my major to! Social Work. I don't even know exactly what that is. But i suggested it to my advisor cuz I over heard the words 'social work' while riding the bus on my way to campus that morning and all the sudden that's what I was. Sounds fine to me. I don't know what I want to do with  my life anyways. Kind of a bummer. I feel a great need to be secure in my life and know exactly what my life plan is. I also still feel a little bit young. Granted.. I am still a teenager.. but I wish I knew what I was doing with my life. Spontaneous living is fun for a time.. but there gets to be a point where there needs to be some sort of plan. I feel like spontaneously going to another country for a few years. But I know it wouldn't be the most fun thing i ever did. I mean.. I've been to other countries. I didn't quite enjoy it. Both times. I mean.. seeing new places is wonderful and going on grand adventures is good too. But going to a place where people don't understand you, the cultures different, you feel out of place, you have to make new friends and find out a way to survive somehow all brand new is a bit of a challenge. Kinda like when you first get to college and there's a certain way of carrying about life so that you don't look like a lost freshman but you don't know it so you're just a lost freshman. Yeah that's a bummer. Nothing like being lost in another country.

Yes, I do still exist

So, it's been a reeeeeeeallly long time since I have blogged at all. Summer is just a difficult time to keep a blog because, for real, who wants to sit on a computer and tell the world about their adventures when you could actually just be having *more* adventures? :) 


I've drafted a number of blogs since camp ended... I don't really feel a need to post them though. But, I am truly glad that it's over and also very thankful for the way God stretched me over the summer. 

Camp is for the Campers

Camp is seriously the most difficult time I've ever experienced I feel like. It is physically, emotionally, and (if this makes sense) Spiritually draining to me.

The lack of sleep is one of the hardest things. But, also, after living at college and in a more mature environment, it's so very difficult for me to work with the staff here

because I am older than all but 5 (out of 30) and their maturity is seriously leaving something to be desired. I think Kyle and Kolby can display better attitudes and more respect for authority than a lot of my co-workers. That is just really difficult. Also.. "camp is for the campers". We get saturdays off and that is the only time. The rest of our lives revolve around the campers. We are to be completely focused on making camp fun for the campers and a good experience that I feel like my relationship with Christ has to be

placed on the back burner until camp ends. And recharge on Saturdays is really difficult because it's really hard to get to a place where I wouldn't be around people. 

The only solution for getting away from people to recharge and get one-on-one time with God is to skip church in the morning. My only worry is that other people will catch on and start skipping

church to "get away" also and then I wouldn't be getting away because they'd be copying and following me around. People do that.. follow me. Especially the highschool girls. I don't understand it. 

Also..I feel like Bible camp is a wonderful environment for wearing a mask and looking happy happy joy joy with Jesus all the time because camp is for the campers. Campers need to see the good side of a relationship with Christ. We can't be sad or unjoyful or discouraged in front of them. If we were.. they might not find a relationship with Christ attractive. That would be a bummer. Sooooooooooooo I've come to dislike myself. Quite a bit. 

It's not at all like me to wear a mask. I want to be transparent. I want to be honest.  I hate masks. But! Also.. if I was transparent.. I would have to become legit friends with my fellow staff. I can't bring myself to that. I know what ever friendships I develop here for a summer are not going to last really beyond this summer. It's really hard for me to try to maintain a relationship with people I will only know for 7 weeks. That sounds mean. But... after working at friendships for my entire freshman year and thinking they were legit and then spending a summer apart and coming back to them and finding they really weren't legit, I'm not about to invest a whole lot into these summer ones. I like the staff. I like the people. We can be friends. But they won't have a huge part of my heart because I don't trust it in their hands. 

But that leaves me longing for my real friends. For my family. For fellowship with real, transparent, Spiritually mature, level-headed people. I'm done with boy-crazy girls. I'm done with complaining. I'm done with not sleeping. Im done with putting God on the back burner. But... I have to put up with it for 3 more weeks. I just want to go home. I want time with me and Jesus and no one else. 

After a Week.. I am Weak.

So my last blog was a little bit unorganized and really strange because I was really tired and rushed. 
I got 8 hours of sleep last night which was a rare treat! Most of our nights are 6 hours of sleep at best.
It will get worse when campers get here. 


Training is going well. I'm making good friends with the other staff and am given an hour in the morning for quiet time. It's so wonderful!

And the Summer Starts... Now?

Hello friends!!! Or.. family! Or... whoever reads this... idk.. maybe I'm just talking to my computer.
BUT! I have 16 minutes of freetime at this moment in my life (Which is very rare) and thus I wanted to blog. Maybe. This will probably not make a lot of sense. 


You see.. I had a couple glorious weeks of summer at home with my fam... 2 I think.. and now I am at work at a camp in the middle of Iowa.  Exhausted would be an understatement about how I feel. If I put my head down on this keyboard it wouldn't take much more than a minute and a half  for me to be asleep. 


I spent my last week and a half at home going to bed at 2am and waking up at 8 everyday and thus started out my week at camp for staff training pretty sleep deprived. ( I would not suggest this.) 
Day #1 here was not officially staff training and so I had a day of helping with the film crew for the movie parts of the skits we're doing and a few other random busy work stuff. Wednesday was when the real training began. We did get-to-know-you stuff when our fellow staff co-worker people and then an afternoon of going over insurence policy and worker's comp stuff. I was sleep deprived going into this and thus really emotional.. we had to watch a 10 minute security tape of a little boy drowning in a pool. It was real. That was difficult. On top of that we walked the whole 40 somthin acres of camp, had other training stuff and other factors stuff.. when my day ended.. I sat down on a hill and cried for about an hour. 


My next day was not much better. I was on the verge of tears, i felt like, for most of the day. Just tired and stressed and homesick. I had a lot of opportunity to pray in the evening and thus felt better by the end of the day. I think God is the only way I shall survive this summer. (Actually I KNOW this).  
We have meetings every day but sunday that start at 6 45 am and our days end at 9 30pm. I get 6 hours of sleep at best. I am tired. If you read this.. you may pray for me. I would appreciate that. 


My free time has ended. Maybe someday I can write more about the good parts. 

Easter Eggs in Jars of Clay

Last night my brother, Kit, made me go out sharing with him. Him and my other brother Ken got together with 4 other friends to drive to Storm Lake and just share the Gospel with people. 
Now, I've done that kind of sharing many times myself and so you'd think I'd be excited and confident and absolutely passionate about going. 
Mmm...sadly I think my attitude changed while I was at school. My freshman year of college I joined an outreach team with the student ministry in which I was involved. I joined absolutely excited to get out there and go sharing like I've been taught to do... unfortunately.. that wasn't the structure of that outreach team. I soon learned that being on the outreach team meant sitting around a table and talking about ideas of maybe reaching out... but not necessarily going and doing. I allowed that apathetic attitude into my own heart of hearts and it has been quite the disease to battle against since then. (Let that be a warning to you.. don't let other's attitudes of apathy become that of your own.) 
So anyways.. I didn't really *want* to go sharing. I mean.. i knew it was the right thing to do and I knew I would regret not going.. but I just... ugh.. didn't want to go. 


My father had needed my help in the garden and so I was wearing my dirty garden clothes and was all about getting ready to get some dirt under my nails as I planted potatoes. Kit came out and was like "My friends will be here in 5 minutes, go change now." (Bossy...)
So... I complied, got dressed, grabbed some Gospel tracts on my way out and the 7 of us drove to Storm Lake to tell people about the most happiest thing they could ever know. Upon arriving at a park and hopping out into the perfectly calm, warm evening air, one of the guys made the comment, "First praise of the night: it's supposed to be raining right now." Kit responded with, "Yeah... my dad said there was a 90% chance of rain."  So we took it as a sign that God wanted us there. 
We prayed together and split up and, as one of my partners said, went hunting for "victims." 
After walking a bit, myself and my 2 partners came along a young fellow in one of the parks and we struck up a conversation. He believed in God but didn't know how to get to heaven and just was hoping that his good works and going to church and stuff would be good enough for God to let him in. I asked him if there was a way to be absolutely sure he was going to heaven when he did would he want  to know it and his response was, "Heck yes, I would!" Perfect. 
We had a good long talk with him about how works aren't good enough and we aren't good enough but God provided a solution for all that. He didn't make any definite decision right there in front of us, but i have a feeling God is doing a crazy good work in him and he definitely took a step closer to the Kingdom which is an absolute win! 


The evening went well and we had some good stories to share by the end of it. On our walk back to our vehicle, I was talking to my friend Madison who is an absolute stud when it comes to loving Jesus. You wanna talk about passion.. this guy is 16 years old and has been obediently reaching out to people around him, leading his peers in Bible studies, and in absolute humility has been a beacon of light and love to those around him. Anyways, Madison and I were talking about ministry opportunities that were coming up and it went something like this:


M-"You should tell (them) about someone."


F- "oh yeah?"


M-"Yeah, starts with a 'J'.. and it's a man"




F- "Oh!!! I'm in love with a man whose name start's with a 'J'!"


M- "Me too!!!"


F- "Yeah, his name is Jesus."


M- "I'm in love with Jesus too!"


F- "Well he's mine."


M- "no, he's mine!"


F- "Well, I'm His. And so that makes him more mine."


M- "I'm his too, so He's mine too."


F- "*gasp* We could share him!"


M- "No! He can't be divided"


F- "We can't share him?? With others and each other?"


M- "No.. I mean.. *you* can have Him and *I* can have him but we both have ALL of Him because He is infinite and can't be split up. And we can share him with others.. like tell them about Him.. but we can't all just have a little piece of Him." 


F-"Oh!! So like the gift that keeps on giving??"


M- "Yes!!"


F- "So THAT'S why in the Bible God has the story about the widow with the jars of oil! Because she has  a little bit of oil and she keeps pouring it and pouring it to other jars and she fills up the other jars and there aren't enough jars and she still has oil left over. It's an example of Jesus, right?"


M- "Yes!! I've never thought of that! That's awesome!!"


F- "Same with the bread and fishes when Jesus fed the 5,000? They have a little food and they pass it out and pass it out and everyone has enough and they have so much left over after they've given everyone enough to satisfy them." 


M-"Yeah!!! God is so awesome. I've never noticed that before!"


F- "Me either!! The Bible has easter eggs!"


That.. was I think one of the best parts of my evening. I love it when God randomly reveals stuff to us that we never noticed before. Granted.. I'm sure scholars have noticed that already and have written books about it.. but I just LOVE how the Holy Spirit just moved in us and opened our eyes to see stuff that we hadn't noticed before. I mean.. the story of the widow with the jars of oil that never ran out is a really cool story, but I never really understood the significance I don't think. 


Even as I write this, I looked up and there on my shelf sits a clay jar that I was given from arts festival and I have written on the front of it, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Cor. 4:7