First of all, health wise, things are getting better! I went to a GI in September who ordered lots of tests and for everything he tested the results always came back negative. This has been relieving and frustrating because I know I still get sick sometimes and telling me what it's not does not offer much by way of an answer. But! In october I was trying new things and ate what I thought was kuskus which actually turned out to be barley which is high in gluten. I waited for the usual nausea and stomach ache to set in but that never happen. (Amazing!)
A couple days after that one of my friends was eating some chips that had wheat in them and offered me one. Usually any trace amount of wheat would get me sick so I figured that was a bad idea. But then I decided to try it any way on account I didn't react to the Barley. I went to bed thinking I'd be waking up nauseous but I was fine. So, since then I've been trying wheat products here and there and have been handling most of them fine. This is SO exciting! When I first realized my gluten intolerance I didn't have a ton of hope that I would recover since month after month even trace amounts made me so sick. (Candida diet for the win!). Also, sugars I'm handling better (honey still gets me) and some dairy is okay. Two days ago I had a 5 hour lactose test and that was *not* fun.
They test you by putting powdered lactose into a cup of water and making you drink it and then asking you how you feel every 30 minutes (via filling out a chart) as you blow into a plastic balloon that they later use to test the gas levels on your breath. I got so sick after that. As sick as I would get prior to giving up gluten a year ago. Miserable. But! At least I know to avoid lactose even before they give me the results of that test.
It's nice to start eating normal people food, especially since it costs a lot less than fresh produce and organic stuff. I still get sick on occasion, though, but I'm returning to my GI next week for follow up.
Nextly, Thanksgiving break was incredible!! Of course I went into it completely exhausted emotionally and physically much ready for some recovery. While rest was good, it did not "fix" my still broken state. But, it was a huge blessing all the same. I spent my first days of break at home with my parents and younger siblings. It was such a joyful time! From there my younger brother, Kit, and I flew out to Florida to be with our wonderful cousins as our time with them this summer was cut way to short. It was overwhelming how great it was. Even my younger cousins have incredible knowledge of the Lord and deep insight into life situations. On Thanksgiving day, my aunt had everyone go around the room and share one or two things they were thankful for and all of what was shared brought such joy to my heart I could have cried. My youngest cousin there said, "I'm thankful that I have a loving and sovereign God." Is that not precious?? She's 12 and she already has a wonderful grasp on the Father we love. I think just hearing what people were thankful for was an other way of God telling me, "You are so loved, Fern. You are loved." And I know that... everywhere I turned I cannot deny that I am loved.
Florida was amazing. It was not especially warm or sunny, but being with my cousins whom I dearly loved was so soothing to me. I felt at home there and it was difficult to say goodbye especially since seeing them is once a year at best and its getting to a point where it only last 3 or 4 days. :(
It's a bit of a hard reality when you realize that you're growing up and family dynamics are changing. The many summers running wild with my cousins on the farm have now passed and as spread out as we are now, we will spread out more as we take jobs and move away.
Other exciting things.... God is blessing me everywhere I turn! It's still so crazy and humbling to be used by God. I have yet to come to a point in my life where I think, "Yeah.. I should be used because I've got mad skills"... no. I am still just me.. totally flawed and helpless on my own. But God likes to work miracles so here I am.
Last year when leading a Bible study, we never had more than 4 girls attend at once. 4 was our number and it seemed small. It was good, but it never seemed to have reached a super deep, heart-connected level like I'd wanted. Don't get me wrong, though, we opened up to eachother and shared our hearts and grew in love for one another, but the transparency thing was not our forte.
This year I'm leading again with 8 faithful attenders and 5 new girls wanting to join. Not all have been able to make it yet, but last night we had 3 new girls in attendance! This is incredible because that's not very typical for the end of the semester. But here's the crazy God moment story behind some of that.
So my roommate, Miranda, and I lead together and so when we're asked to hand out the programs before Salt Company that typically means we do it together. Tuesday night at Salt she told me that a friend's mom had asked her welcome a girl who was going to come who didn't know anybody. Miranda didn't know this girls name or what she looked like.. all she knew was that she was looking for a girl who wasn't with anybody and was from Dubuque. Since there are two doors for entering into the gathering room, Miranda and I were both on the look out. For those that don't know me, I'm not a subtle person. So my strategy for welcoming this anonymous girl was to welcome every lost looking girl and invite them to sit with me if they didn't know anyone else. This turned out to be quite fun and I made 3 new friends as a result. Two of them were freshman girls totally new to Salt Company. The Lord is wonderful! As it turns out, the mom of Miranda's friend who told her to look out for the girl had actually texted Miranda at 7:30 that the girl wouldn't be there. This is funny because we started greeting people and handing out programs at 7:50. If Miranda had checked her phone, I wouldn't have been so concerned for people who didn't have anyone to sit by.
God is still quite amazing because the next day, Miranda was given a call my an older man from the church she group up at who told her that there was this girl in town from Dubuque who was looking to get involved with a ministry and Miranda was the person he thought of to ask. This is funny because this man and Miranda's friend's mom probably don't even know eachother and for sure hadn't communicated with eachother. This time, though, Miranda was able to get the girl's name and meet her over the phone. I'm SO excited to see how the Lord is going to move in that.
This weekend I'm going to visit Josh in Hamilton. That in and of itself is exciting, but God is working in that too. You see, Josh's little brother has a solid friend circle and I have been so blessed to be welcomed into it, even though I'm a college senior and they are in high school. The girls especially have a special place in my heart as I know the difficulties of high school and friendships and all that. High school was such a key time in my walk with the Lord and I was SO blessed by the older women around me who poured unsparingly into my life and I have such a burden on my heart to do the same for others. So this weekend, me and the girls are going to get together in a cafe and talk about Jesus and it's going to be so great! (If you read this before Saturday morning, feel free to pray over our time together).
Oh! And another thing, I'm going to Nicaragua for Spring Break. I'm so excited to see what the Lord will do in my heart during that time. I'm learning to embrace the time God stretches me out of my comfort zone so that my comfort zone expands and my heart for His people grows. It will be an adventure! I so love adventures!! No worries.. I will post more on that as I learn it.
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