Happy September!

Hello!! My apologies for the severe lackage of postings as of late. Quite ironic since in the last few weeks I've gotten a lot of encouragement from people who say they read this and want me to keep posting. 
That was, of course, not intentional that I began slacking off and I hope to keep this updated as best I can. 

However, with my course load and other various commitments I've made, we'll see how well I do. :) Anyways, my life. It has changed quite a bit since last year at this time. In fact, I'd venture to say that I am 180 degrees different from last september. My goodness how the Lord has worked miracles in my heart and grown me in SUCH big ways! Almost a year ago exactly I was posting my thoughts on my disappointing summer and of all the ways I had fallen short at my job as a summer camp counselor. I have sense removed that post for several reasons, including the fact that my heart was wounded and infected and  it needed some gauze and disinfectant rather than public exposure. 

I think I spent all last school year attempting to recover from such a dark summer and, try as I might, I was never able to feel whole again no matter what I tried. I ended my Spring semester feeling empty, numb, and exhausted. Fortunately for me, the Lord reached down with His mighty hands and placed a beautiful present in my lap and I imagine that He was just beaming with joy as He watched me unwrap it and enjoy it. 

That glorious gift was my time spent at The Bridge of Storm Lake this summer. I am still just so giddy at how I was blessed over the summer by having the opportunities to pour myself out and serve. I was a little hesitant going into it knowing that I had spent the last 9 months recovering from a burnout that happened during staff training for camp. I honestly had nothing to give. My heart was empty and my branch in the Father's vine was looking shriveled and dry and for sure not strong enough to support any fruit had my life produced any. 

But, God knew what He was doing and me being empty was probably the best state I could have possibly been in. I mean, okay, it wasn't a great place to be, but the Lord used it. I was empty and He had room to fill me with Him. I was dry and He was in watering His gardens. I was exhausted and He carved out for me a place of rest. When I returned to Iowa City, the leader for the ministry I attend had us read 1 Corinthians 1 and think about it for a while. The verses that gave me "Holy Spirit Shivers" (as my friend,Jessica, calls them) were:

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Cor. 1:26-31

God chose the weak... that's me! Well, it was me. Not to say that I'm strong, but I am stronger. But really, I think it's the Holy Spirit's strength in me. I learned a ton of things about myself this summer as well as a ton of things about God. I learned about love. I know the term "love" is used way too carelessly, but it's a way big deal. God loves people. God loves children. God loves the children who are loud and fight with other children and don't pay attention at VBS. God loves the quiet ones and the tired ones and the ones who are not loved by their families. God loves the hurt and the broken and the empty. He loves the ones that smile and laugh as well as the ones that cry and pout. We as humans cannot comprehend this fully because we are unable to love them all. We do not naturally desire to love the obnoxious ones or to be patient with the rowdy ones. But love is patient. 
Our natural first response to a misbehaving 3rd grader who is driving everyone to their wits end is to scold and rebuke and put them in a time out or let them sit by them self in a corner. But love is kind. 
Love keeps no record of wrong when one sees the child who always picks fights and gets the other children riled up stepping onto the bus to go to VBS. Love that child. You know why? Love never fails. How many times a day does that child hear "Don't do this, don't do that." "Stop that." "Sit still" "Go away" "Be quiet".... How many times does any child hear that. And how many people will respond in love to that child. How many people will be patient? How many people will be kind? How many times is that child going to feel loved? If you love Jesus, than your job is to respond in love. 

That's probably the biggest thing I learned. I've told everyone who has asked me so far that thats what it is. If you've talked to me, than this is repeat for you. The big thing I learned was to love. If you encounter someone and you be Jesus to them for 5 minutes and love them, that could be the only 5 minutes in their day that they feel loved. If you love them for a day, that could be the only day that they feel loved. You have a choice to love someone. You have choice to let God work in your life. You have a choice to let God use you. Don't be selfish. Love is not self-seeking. Love pours out. Love moves. Love gives life. Love grows.